You may have noticed a few changes around here. Namely, the theme. I thought it was time for a change. Tell me how you find it in terms of readability and navigation. 🙂
And now, onto business. Today, because I can’t find 28 appropriate lines that work together and don’t give too much away yet are still interesting, I have 19 lines of Rebellion Rising and 9 words from my latest Short Story Saturday piece, Reminiscence, the rest of which you can read here. 🙂
So, first things first. This scene takes place somewhat before last weeks excerpt (sorry for jumping all over the place). Note: This is 19 lines according to my computer and it might be more or less here. I haven’t bothered to count.
Rea stood in the stream, her dress bunched up out of the water, ferociously beating a linen sheet. Along the banks the girls and women did their washing. Giggles and gossip wafted on the gentle breeze. Damn Tasyn she thought to herself, Damn him!
One of the girls further down the bank called to Rea, startling her from her thoughts, ‘What do you think?’
‘Of what?’
‘Of Tasyn?’
The question caught her off guard.
‘Nothing.’ she let her hair fall over her face, hoping to fade back into obscurity.
‘You like him!’ the girl cried scandalously.
‘No, Aemi, I do not.’
‘Oh! You do! She does.’ Aemi told her giggling friend.
‘For your information, I think he is incredibly rude, irritating and…and he drinks like a fish!’
Aemi and her friend were near doubled over with laughter,
‘You do like him! Tell me, oh powerful seer, do you see a future with him!?’ Aemi lost her balance, falling into the stream, overcome with laughter.
Rea ignored them, not willing to admit that she could see nothing of her future or Tasyn’s. After years of having her dreams haunted by this brown eyed soldier, it was strange to seem so unprepared for the future.
And now, for a mere 9 words of Reminiscence. Technically it’s a sentence fragment so to find out the rest you’ll have to go read it for yourself. 🙂
Haunted by the blood that brought it into being.
That’s all for today folks, pretty comprehensive by my standards, lots for you to chew over and no excuses to accuse me of being mean with my offerings. 🙂
R.E. Navan 
I like the characters’ names 🙂
Glad to hear it. Such tidbits of feedback are always helpful. 🙂
Oooh, that one-liner is nice. And, of course, the bit from Rebellion is great as well. Poor Rea. You know, I’m starting to like Tasyn more and more.
Hehe the plot is working then! 🙂 (Plot in both senses of the word)
Silly girls… And I do love a good not-love-at-first-sight story. 🙂
The idea of love at first sight is indescribably cliché. Lust at first sight, that is a thing, but love? Love takes time.
Agreed.
(Though now that we’ve agreed on that, I want to find a way to make it work…)
The love at first sight thing? Magic perhaps, or old souls in new bodies reunited? 🙂
I’ve seen those done… Not well, so far, but that’s not to say it couldn’t be good (it’s all in the execution, after all). There HAS to be a way to make it work. TO THE THINKATORIUM!
Hehe good luck! 🙂
Really great excerpts. I especially liked the first. Rea really does like Tasyn in spite of herself doesn’t she? Oh how I love love/hate relationships! 🙂
Hehe, we’ll see how their relationship pans out. 😀
Great scene setting at the beginning and I like the back and fro dialogue between the two girls.
I really like the new layout! I especially like how the picture scrolls. It was so cool that I sat here scrolling it for a few minutes to see everything.
Anyway, excerpts. Love the second. Short and sweet and can go so many ways!
I really like your one-liner too! And fun excerpt. 🙂
Thanks 🙂
I don’t know Rea yet, but already I like her. I like her thoughts, love the way she’s a bit out of sorts with herself… as well as the description of the scene in general. Very vivid. Not to mention… I feel the same way she does about Taysn. 😀
Haha Tasyn is most definitely a charmer in the most annoying sort of way. 🙂
A fun character to write then.
Theme: The font is great. The background is a little distracting.
Poor Rea. I guess she has probably been teased for her dreams ever since the first time she made the mistake of telling anyone about them. Aemi doesn’t sound like much of a friend.
She’s not. And thanks for the feedback on the theme! 🙂
I wonder if the background can become sort of a watermark image? I like it, but it’s so vivid that I did find myself a little distracted by it. At the same time, it gave me this mental image that I was reading your blog outside surrounded by the trees and sunlight, so… *shrugs* That was my really, really helpful opinion for you.
I like the last part, where Rea was silently admitting that she could see nothing of her future nor Tasyn’s, which truly would be unsettling for a seer.