Is it Wednesday already? The week has flown by. First, some exciting news, I passed a few milestones this week: 2000 individual views and 200 followers so thank you to everyone who has found enough merit in my ramblings to subject yourself to it in the future. 😀 Now, onto the main business of today, WIPpet Wednesday. A huge thank you to our gracious host Kathi. As always, you can find other WIPpets here.
This weeks WIPpet is from scene 5, chapter 2 of Queen of Hearts. It is an explanation of sorts of Kara’s motive in this scene and it was also a chance to use fable to tell backstory.
Kara sighed, ‘I will tell you a story, if you wish to hear it?’ She took their silence for an affirmative, ‘As all tales, it begins on the day the gods made the spring. After the winter came the spring and it was life and promise and hope and the laughter of children. But a cloud was threatening. It promised storms and destruction and plague and it did not belong to spring nor to summer nor to autumn nor even to winter. No, it belonged to night. Yet the people paid it no heed. What was a dark cloud on the horizon? Nothing to them. Certainly nothing to worry about. After all, perhaps they might reap some reward from it as the farmer reaped the rewards of well-timed rain. In a castle a princess ran wild, unaware of the darkness creeping closer. She protested tight dresses and spending time with her sisters did not share her love for the wild things. Every chance she found, the princess would escape from her castle and explore every inch of her wide land. And so it was that when the unnatural storm arrived at the castle, she was not there to protect her sisters from the ravages of dark things. When she returned, the castle was flooded with grief. Her sister was gone. Like lightening she had vanished with barely a trace. At that moment, the princess pledged she would chase the storm, searching for its eye in the hope she could destroy it. The storm raged for three long years and the people began to realize the evil of the storm. They cursed its winds that blew families apart and they pleaded for the lightening to reappear, hoping it may bring their loved ones back. Ever since, the princess had searched every flash of lightening in the vain hope her sister might appear again.’
On another note, has anyone else been having trouble with the reader on WordPress? Mine refuses to load on my laptop but works fine on my mobile devices.
17 thoughts on “Fabled Motivations”
Beautiful and heartbreaking. I love the descriptions and the emotions, both so intense and ferocious. I definitely want to read more of this!
Thank you 🙂 I’m glad you enjoyed it.
An awesome and powerful fable that isn’t quite…is it? I love the imagery. It’s luscious.
And, no problem with Reader of late. Can’t help you there.
Fables are sometimes the easiest way to speak a difficult truth. I’m glad you liked the imagery. When I first wrote it, it felt a bit fantastical but as I read it over ready to post I enjoyed it. I’m glad you did too. 🙂
Ah, that’s lovely and poetic. Very striking metaphor, too–storms have really useful imagery.
Thank you 🙂
Beautiful imagery and a heartbreaking tale.
I like the way you’re creating a whole legend here. It’s epic. Good stuff.
Hehe thanks! 🙂
Now I want to know the full story of the story-within-a-story… very nice. And I agree about the storm imagery, it’s very powerful.
Hehe you may get the larger tale at some stage 🙂
Lovely excerpt. It definitely has a fairy tale feel to it. And GREAT title – Queen of Hearts. A real eye catcher!
Thanks for the feedback 🙂 I’m glad you like the title. For the moment it’s temporary but we shall see what happens 🙂
Hmm,… Good in concept, but it felt a touch clunky in a few spots. I’m not getting a sense of the audience, the location, etc. And the fable being part of one large paragraph doesn’t give it a chance to stand out. And a tale of a young woman’s guilt at not being there as the invading forces of other kingdoms took her sister from her needs a backdrop as strong as itself, ihmo
I think you need a who in here. Also, you drift from “sisters” plural to “sister” singular in the piece.
Lastly, I think you mean lightning, not lightening… at least in the last sentence.
Hmm, ok, thanks for the pick ups, I’ll keep them in mind for editing. 🙂 Aome of the lack of place eye may be due to lack of context but I’ll keep an eye on it. 🙂
I figured it was probably because these samples are always drawn out of context, but I thought I’d mention it, just in case.
I really love the way this sounds big and mythical and a bit beyond what any of Kara’s listeners (I assume) have ever really experienced.