WIPpet and Beta Reader Call Out

Hello once again, my lovelies. For those of you who saw my post on Monday (Five Things I’ve Learnt About Keeping it Together), you’ll know I’m beginning to look for better readers. As I’ve been editing, I’ve found that there are some sections which I simply cannot be objective enough about to edit properly or I cannot see a way to fix the problem. Therefore, I am putting a call out for beta readers and critiquers of the first sevenish chapters of Queen of Hearts which is about 20,000 words in total. If you are interested, please send me an email at inkandpapyrus [at] Hotmail dot com (obviously taking out the spaces and using symbols where appropriate). You can find more information about Queen of Hearts here but basically it is a young adult fantasy adventure but fantasy in the sense of not a real place rather than dragons, sorry. Or at least, there are no dragons yet. 😛  I really just need a few sets of fresh eyes on this so I can decided where to take it from here. Any help would be appreciated and will be repaid in kind and with much gratitude. 🙂

Anyway, onto today’s excerpt. As always, WIPpet Wednesday is held my the Mistress of Monkeys K.L. Schwengel and you are more than welcome to join us. You can find all the other participants here. It’s the seventh of May so today’s excerpt is from chapter 12 (7+5) of Queen of Hearts, No context, it’s more fun that way.

Bodies littered the cornfields. Screams of dying men floated on the wind, crying for mothers or lovers or wine.

 

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16 thoughts on “WIPpet and Beta Reader Call Out

  1. kathils says:

    Mothers, lovers, or wine. An interesting combination. And for some reason, a jarring counterpoint to the first part of that sentence.

    You can send Queen of Hearts my way if you’d like. I’m not currently shredding anybody’s work but my own. It would be a nice break. 😉

  2. Amy says:

    Wonderful, wonderful excerpt! Even without context this is a vivid picture. There is something so heartbreaking about imagining the dying offering their final pleas.

  3. Eden says:

    I just watched a video that deconstructed the some of the classic military upsets of history. The descriptions of the bodies, of the men being pressed forward to their death by the sheer mass of flesh behind them… Not nearly as poetic, but I imagine the end was much the same.

    I’d be willing to do some beta-ing, in a few weeks. If that’s too long, I understand. Just wanted to be clear up front

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