WIPpet Wednesday – 21.06.17

Wow, it’s been a few weeks since I’ve done one of these! I’m in the thick of rewrites at the moment, so that’s been my focus more than blogging but I’m glad to be back and I can’t wait to see all your WIPpets! 🙂

Today, I actually tried to find an excerpt related to the date, so I went to the 21st scene but that was the scene I’ve been sharing from already and I can’t share anymore without spoilers, so I counted on another six scenes to get to the scene this excerpt is from.

Context: Kara is arguing with her father.

“Fariel will not go to war again.” Piren slammed his hand on the table. “Not while I live to see it.”
“What do you fear?” Kara snapped back. “Death? The obliteration of the throne? Fariel enslaved?” She threw up her hands. “Because that is what will happen if the Haeleans are allowed to waltz in unopposed.”
Piren stood, knocking the chair over. “There is. No. Threat.”
Kara stood, too, her arms braced against the table. “Why are you so blind?” she shouted. “If Fariel falls, it will be on your head.”
Piren’s eyes narrowed to dangerous slits and Kara’s bravado faltered. “Do not threaten me girl,” he said, his voice as cold as ice. “You do not understand the price of war. If you did, you wouldn’t be so eager for it” He sighed and shook his head. “Get out.”

Tbqh, I’m not entirely happy with this at the moment. Some of the phrasing is odd and the action/dialogue balance is weak, but hey, what does it matter at this stage? 🙂

Wishing you all a lovely, productive week! As usual, I made a little graphic to accompany this snippet over on instagram. You can find the link in the sidebar. 🙂

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9 thoughts on “WIPpet Wednesday – 21.06.17

  1. AM says:

    I like the tension between them, and I can see both points of view (although I don’t have the context that they obviously do).

  2. debbiemcgowan says:

    Love that graphic. That was the line that stood out for me in this scene, which reads with plenty of tension and gorgeous pacing (IMO), but it’s that thing of knowing – as the author – that it’s not quite where you want it to be.

  3. Emily Witt says:

    I remember reading this scene when I was betaing and I think my comment was something to the effect of “I get his point but I still want to shake him!” That still stands, reading it again now. It is maybe a little clunky in the current form, but I think it’ll be a really powerful exchange with a bit of spit and polish. 🙂

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