Today is Wednesday. Yay for stating the obvious! With all my assignments out of the way, at least for a few weeks, I’ve been taking the time to read through my very rough draft of Queen of Hearts not for the purposes of correction but just to read it and enjoy it and immerse myself in that world again. I’ve been considering doing a few character profiles from my stories so if you’d be interested or if there are any questions you have for my characters, let me know in the comments 🙂
Onwards and upwards! The following is from Queen of Hearts (the prequel to the work I’ve been taking the WIPpets from for the last few weeks). It is, as the title of the post would suggest, the ending and while I’m aware it’s not brilliant and it will probably be cut from the final draft, I think it’s a bit cute. But then, I am a tad biased. 🙂
The band struck up a Bashraani jig. Anjez turned to her, his hand outstretched, ‘May I have this dance?’
‘I thought you’d never ask.’
The moved out onto the floor.
‘Until we forget.’ he whispered in her ear as they began to dance.
‘Until we remember.’ she replied, a youthful smile at home on her face.
R.E. Navan 
Love it! It’s cute, but not in a disgusting, saccharine way. I like its simplicity.
Yay! Glad to hear you think so! 😀
Fun little excerpt. I don’t know much about (I’m guessing) British formatting, but wondered if those last two dialogue bits should have commas instead of periods. That’s how it’d go in American formatting, but as I said, I’m not familiar with British formatting(or whatever format you’re using). Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Oh, good point! Thanks for picking up on that. 🙂 Admittedly at this stage, I’m not prioritising for consistent formatting but I’ll keep it in mind for edits later on in the year. 🙂
No problem. Early drafts are without rules I think. Just get the story out and polish it up as you go along. 🙂
I love the interplay of the last two lines. 🙂 It makes me want to know more about the backstory for this scene and the reasons for their word choices. 🙂
There is an interesting backstory to the word choices but I can’t give anything more away, sorry. 🙂
I love the last two lines “Until we forget” and “Until we remember.” I agree with Regi, they make me want to know more about what has happened before – but they also make me think that more is yet to come.
I agree with ReGi and Christina. I love the feeling of those two lines and want to know what they hint at.